Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
