Sponge bath it is.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
