My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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