When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I did not marry a roomba.
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