Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
