no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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