Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
