Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
