thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
