I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
How does one acquire holy water?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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