That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Also, beer. Big fan.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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