I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
