and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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