so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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