I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
