She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
