You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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