I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
