I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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