That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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