Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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