you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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