We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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