called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
honey bunches of taint.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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