so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze