I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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