Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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