sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
