I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
