Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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