I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
