Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
