3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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