Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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