So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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