If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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