No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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