Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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