I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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