i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize