I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
