My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
