I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
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went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!