I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.