I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap