it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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