i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
