its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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