We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
