I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
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I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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