I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
