Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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