why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
