i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
