So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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