That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
