I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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