I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
